THE ULTIMATE OTTD FANFICTION

I found this in a Word document I had from like a couple of months ago lol

No hard feelings, just thought it was kind of funny.

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On a warm sunny March day, in Washington D.C.

 "Sir! We're being hacked!!!" yelled out the soldier

 "What!?" the Head of the United Nations responded as the stormed to the World Database computer

 "It's in some weird, pseudo-Slavic language, I can't tell!!"

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SOMEWHERE IN A DIRTY COLORADO SPRINGS COMPOUND

 "My evil secret plan is coming to fruition!!!" said RT as he chomped through his mozzarella sticks. He had spent years flipping through A.I. books and Khan Academy to master the skills of hacking; the same that let him join Anonymous

 The files were downloading into his computer. At last, he would have information on every single person in the universe. But he was after the information of a certain person.

 And now, with the click of a button, the first phase of his master plan was set in motion

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IN ARIZONA

 RT was able to gain control of the robot. While Oaky was looking through his toolbox, RT commanded the robot to attack; without warning, the robot jumped at Oaky. With Oaky desperately trying to throw punches, the robot took both of his arms and twisted them out of his sockets. RT then commanded the robot to stomp on Oaky's head until he stopped struggling, taking out years of pented up anger on his former friend

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COLORADO SPRINGS

"THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR ABUSING MEEEEEEE" screeched RT, proud of his awfully violent takedown of the main bully

Getting out of his chair, with his cape whipping past behind him. He sat down at his mainframe computer. Scratching through his neckbeard, he logged into the World Database to find Oaky's passwords and emails

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ON OTTD

"Room, you need to stop posting your Glaceon X Gardevoir shit, thats sick" agreed everyone as they downvoted Room's latest artwork

[i]"[/i]These suckers don't expect it" thought RT as logged in as "Oaky"

He relented for a minute; these were his friends.

[i]"[/i]NO, THEY ABUSED MEEEEEEEE[i]"[/i] he reasoned. To prove it, he posted as "Oaky"

"Hey guys" wrote 'Oaky', "do you think RT still embezzles pizza?"

"Hell yeah" wrote Ugly

"Yep" wrote Flade

"THEY FUCKING KNOW" RT steamed in anger

"THATS IT, YOU GUYS BETTER APOLOGIZE TO RT FOR TREATING HIM MEAN AND ABUSING HIM, OR ILL FUCK THIS FORUM UP SO BAD YOU'LL ALL BE CRAWLING BACK TO ROT" he said as he blew his cover

"Is this you RT?" asked Epoch, as RT blasted him with an IP ban

"THIS IS MY FORUM NOW, HOW CAN YOU GUYS BEEEEEEEE SO STUPID AND ABUSIVE"

"Ahhhhhh-" Dogman was interrupted from his screaming as RT IP banned him

"FOR TYULIVIANIA!!!!!!!" he shouted in ponyspeak

"Run away!!!!" shouted James as he was IP banned; the quality of the forum improved noticeably almost immediately, even under the given circumstances

"YOU GUYS WILL FOLLOW MY RULES FROM NOW ON, AND THE BIGGEST RULE IS TO BE NICE TO MEEEEEEE"

"I refuse" said Magician, as he was IP banned; he succumbed to AIDS shortly after

"HOW CAN YOU GUYS BEEEEEEEEEEEE SO STUPID, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!EE11EE1!!!"

"Dude RT bro you gotta chill, you're losing it" said BJ

"SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP DAILY REMINDER TO SHUT UP" he posted as he double IP banned BJ

"dude shut the fuck up" said Flade nonchalantly as he was IP banned; he resumed his life as normal, like a normal person

"THIS IS NO LONGER OTTHUNDERDOME, THIS IS RTTHUNDERDOME" he posted in pride, subjecting the survivors to tyranny

"this is gay" said Ugly as he was IP banned; he shortly forgot about everything and resumed his life as normal

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The Secret Service agent had to interrupt the President (PBUH) as he was listening to My Pet Horse being read by elementary students

"Sir, we are under attack"

TO BE CONTINUED

PART TWO BY POPULAR DEMAND (WITH PROUD SPONSORSHIP BY DiGIORNO; IT'S NOT DELIVERY. ITS DiGIORNO PIZZA)


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IN COLORADO

"Its almost done, at long last!!!!!" said RT as the beeping noise intensified. And with that; ding!

RT jogged to the microwave, taking out an embezzled and delicious artisan crafted DiGiorno's Pizza made with real fresh mozzarella cheese

"Mmmmmm" he said of the oven-hot and basil-scented illegally obtained pizza

"It's Not DEEEEEEElivery, It's DEEEEEEEGiorno's" RT said directly into the camera. "How can it BEEEEEEE delivery??"

 Gobbling up the pizza with one huge and awkward bite, he went back to work.

"Now, where were WEEEEEEE??" he said as he logged into the World Database

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OTTD Sewers

 The remaining population was now under strict control and surveillance, and not of the NSA kind.

"Hey guys, I made some artwor-" chimed in CSonic

"Is it of MEEEEEE?" piped in RT

"No, it's-"

"DELETE"

CSonic put his head down as his hard work was destroyed in an instant.

In the distance, RT heard members talking of politics.

"HEY GUYS"

"Hello" said Tipsy, excusing from the conversation with zac and Chink

"DUDE FEMINISM SUCKS ASS, BECAUSE SLIPPERY SLOPE AD HOMINEM STRAWMAN NO TRUE SCOTSMAN"

"i guess, but i dont really care" said Chink in a dismissive manner

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN"

"i mean, social justice is a stupid thing but if we put attention to their little circlejerk theyll never go away, since they want attention for their outrageous antics which is why they feel so isolated from society - a lack of attention"

"SHUT UP YOU GAY NERD"

"arent you both gay and black, RT?" asked tipsy

"EXCUSE MEEEEEEEEE BUT IM ASEXUAL, GET IT RIGHT"

"still, shouldnt you spend less energy fighting SJWs, you arent a target, they actually look up at people like you. just ignore them and theyll go awa-"

"SHUT UP OH MY GOD, THIS IS ABUSE"

"no im not abus-"

"LEAVE MEEEEE ALONE YOU STUPID FUCKING WOMAN, BACK IN THE KITCHEN DUMB WHORE" said RT in a casual misogynistic manner

Shocked, tipsy retreated holding her tail, back to mediocre art as a woman should do.

"Dude" Chink said to Zac

"Somebodies gotta take this guy out, hes nuts"

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WASHINGTON D.C.

 The Situation Room went through much needed renovations during 2007, adding high-tech security features such as communications jammers for personal devices and six flat panel displays for videoconferences.

 "See, we're gonna take this neckbeard down, OK? We're gonna send the CIA in, take him down, right now. This guy, this Gildan Griffin guy, he acts like he's so angry that he's scary, but we're gon- and it doesn't work very well for him by the way" said President Trump as he addressed the National Security Council

 Taking head of Operation Pizza Delivery, the NSC formed a special international unit tasked with taking down RTCity at all costs. Dubbed "The Pizzeria" the team composed the deadliest operatives from the CIA, Marines, the UK, Germany, France and the latest addition to NATO, Russia.

 "Yeah, we're gonna get him real good, yeah really good, OK? We gonna put an end to his tyranny, right now"

PART THREE

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RT's Castle

 The Glaceon could only stare in curiosity at the weird geek drooling through the bars of its cage.

 "Yes yes" said RT as he observed Room fawning over the Glaceon, rubbing his neckbeard. "Think of any Pok-EEEEEEEEEEE-mon, and I can give it to you"

 "Even Gardevoir titties???!!!!" asked Room enthusiastically

 "Yes, even Gardevoir titti-EEEEEEs"

 "YES PAPA YES!!" screamed out Room, making the Glaceon flinch.

 "Only if you do what I say..."

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Somewhere on the Internet.....

 The Embezzlement Squad was made specifically for this day. On the day Oaky died, it sent a signal to the brave warriors of OTTD. They faked their graceless downfalls to live a life of secrecy, sacrificing popularity for an opportunity to take the ultimate duty.

 McKailey, slashing through the wilderness of Tumblr, received her message. Her old OTBH nemesis; RTCity. The Pizza Boy. The Colorado Stallion. But most of all: the Misogynist. Not only was it an attack on the land of the free; it's personal.

 Viral never really did like RTCity and his fits of anger, so he knew that trouble was brewing when he received his message. Perhaps of all the Embezzlement Squad, he'd be the biggest surprise on the roster ever since his "defense" of Flamingdiner.

 Lcke was an outlier. He wasn't really hated, he just dropped out of "boredom" to cover his entry into the Squad. As much as he didn't like going into drama, he couldn't help but hold a slight dislike for RTCity because of his sexism and anger. He shivered as he could only imagine what "RTThunderdome" looks like.

 Sinii really didn't really know what happened with LM, he just went with the flow and pretended to go along with whatever was going on; this was an opportunity to serve his forum. He had some fallouts with RTCity, but was shocked when he heard of his actions.

 Now it was time to fight the Good Fight.

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 PENTAGON HELICOPTER PAD

 President Trump gave the final order to The Pizzeria after meeting with the member states' heads. At the end of his election, he touted himself as the "Most pro-OTTD" candidate in the race, which led him to win by a landslide; 48 states and D.C. Now, it was time to test him on this.

 "Alright boys!" he yelled through the blurring noise of the helicopter

 "Deliver something to this terrorist that he can't embezzle; justice!"

 With that, the helicopter took off, carrying out its Express Delivery.

PART FOUR

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RT's Castle

"DON'T YOU AGREEEEE WITH MEEEEEE" screeched RT as he continued to torture Stalin

"Dude, stop making me read this!!!" he pleaded as RT jammed another printout of a Gawker article into Stalin's face

"BUT THEY ARE WRONG, THEY ARE STUPID FEMINISTS, DON'T YOU SEEEEEEE"

RT showed no remorse as he continued roughly rubbing Gawker printouts, in front of the other prisoners of his dungeon.

It was then when RT heard something outside, like a helicopter.

"SHUT UP" he screamed at Stalin as he jammed the pile of articles into his mouth. "LET MEEEEEEEE HEEEEAR"

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The Pizzeria operatives crashed into RT's Castle, throwing in flash bangs. Since he had no friends,the cover was clear as the operatives ran through the castle to neutralize their target

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"HOW CAN THE ARMY BEEEE SO STUPID" RT screamed.

"ROOM, STOP MAKING OUT WITH THAT GLACEON TOY AND GET TO WORK!!!"

"Yesh urr!" he mumbled through the Glaceon toy jammed in his mouth, and put on his special goggles

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Room crawled quietly, finding the Pizzeria. His special goggles, designed by RTLaboratories, transformed targets into Gardevoirs. RT knew that Room goes savage on Gardevoir, so this was an opportunity he couldn't refuse.

He felt adrenaline pump throughout his body as he saw those fat, juicy Gardevoir tits. Laughing like a maniac, he jumped out of the shadow and sprang into action

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Munching through his mozzarella sticks, a wicked smile spread across RT's face as he heard gunfire and screaming echoing through his castle's hallways.

With President Trump's forces out of the way, his next move was about to be done, but he had to be quick. He prepared his helicopter. He had a flight to Burlington to catch soon.

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Panting, Room made his way back to RT's office. He suddenly stopped. He reached for his throat. Warm liquid filled his hand, and poured down his chest and onto the floor. His vision was getting blurry.

He didn't want his last sight to be Sinii holding a silenced pistol. He quickly took out his phone, making sure that his premium Pokeporn was the last thing he saw.

Everything went dark.

c00l